Single What? Female...

"I am ashamed for these criminal acts..."

Yes, Bernard Madoff said that in court today while pleading guilty to 11 counts of fraud. He kept the money in "a" - yes, apparently one - Chase Manhattan account. He never invested the money and thus put out heaps of false statements to folks about what they were investing in and thus must have had heaps of people helping him...but who, we don't know...yet. He has made a plea, but not a plea bargain hence he is not cooperating with the court/the feds/investigators and will not get credit for cooperating when it comes to sentencing. We can only hope that this monster gets a tough judge.

I personally picture this happening when he gets to prison:

He's sitting in the "yard" trying to read The Wall Street Journal (an old copy from the prison library). A rather harsh looking musclebound gentleman comes up to him, "Hey, F***off. Yeah, I'm talking to you, Bernie F***off" Bernie looks up over his glasses (he was allowed to keep those). He looks at the guy like he's some loud guy from the subway and goes back to his paper. The paper is lowered and snatched away from him. The large gentleman squats down in front of Madoff and says, "You know...my grandmother invested with you. Florence Shapiro of Long Island? You know her? She invested her life savings with you. She's had to move in with my sister. She's selling the house my grandfather built, you fat f***. And just so you know, Jerry here-" Jerry has appeared out of nowhere...is smaller but wiry and definitely angry. "Jerry's pop was invested with you, too. Lost everything, right Jerry?" Jerry spits on Madoff. "Oh and that guy over there?" he gestures toward a VERY large gentleman lifting a HUGE dumbells. "Yeah, his moms lost her pension as the company she worked for invested their 401K's with you and poof, all gone..." Bernie is beginning to look uncomfortable. "She's not sure she can afford to come up here to visit as much as she used to...and he gets nasty when he can't see his moms..." Bernie looks up and suddenly sees a sizeable group of men surrounding him. "Bernie, do you remember a Christmas Carol? And how that guy Scrooge had ghosts visiting him every night to bug his ass until he accepted Christmas? Meet the ghosts of Christmas future, motherf***er. Scrooge got nothing compared to the visits you're going to get." Madoff is not happy. "Catch ya later, Bernard F***off," and the unnamed gentleman and those around him slowly disperse. Madoff realizes too late that he has wet himself.

That's what I picture right now, no matter what, though, I figure it will not be pretty.

Peace --Alex

posted by funkweee @ 8:05 AM