Tuesday, November 23, 2004

would you "spoon" for Kerry?

This from Wonkette.com

Americans Coming Together, Post-Election Plan
Former Kerry-Edwards Staffer Still Isn't Getting Any - m4 - 29 Reply to: anon-49380405@craigslist.org Date: 2004-11-23, 9:02AM EST

I'm a SWM who worked on the Kerry campaign and I wasn't getting any then... now that I've entered the deepest levels of depression after working 18 hour-days I'd like to feel better if only for a little while. If you're a woman and you're willing to just spoon with me naked for a night you'd make me feel a lot better. Sex would be great too but its been so long and I put on weight during the campaign I don't feel like I could ask for it. No Republicans need apply. You guys already screwed me over once. George Bush is responsible for my job loss too.

We'd give Chad a hard time for lying about his age, but he's being so honest about everything else, we'll let it slide. All he wants is to "spoon naked," people. This kind of pre-9/11 sentimentality is probably why we lost Ohio, but if Jennifer Millerwise or any other hot lady Bush staffer is serious about uniting the country, we're willing to bet that "anonymous" here would overlook GOP membership in exchange for you working around his "campaign tummy." Barring that, there's gotta be a Nader voter out there who owes this guy. Maybe some 18-year-old who can squeeze in a cuddle during her House of Hemp lunch hour?

Former Kerry-Edwards Staffer Still Isn't Getting Any - m4 - 29 [craigslist]
Related: Wolf Blitzer, Matchmaker [Wonkette]

The last good Craig's list entry was the guy looking to meet a Republican to "beat the shit out of". I find this request much more peaceful and if there was anything that can unite us, you'd think this might be it BUT 1)he's asking no republicans apply and 2) there was an actual article in the New Yorker a few weeks back talking about Democratic women who had "slept with the enemy" and, post election, were regretting such a move...feeling a bit unclean...and they said they most likely would never do such a thing again. Now we don't want this poor boy traumatized by waking up with a naked Republican-however willing-so perhaps there is some nice girl-a Kerry volunteer-out there looking for some consolation sex who never had the nerve to put her feelings up on Craig's list. (admittedly there is a part of me that's going "heck it's been a long time for me, too...you mean all I have to do is put an ad up on Craig's list!?!?!" but with my luck I'd get some crazy conservative posing as a distressed Democrat and I'd only realize the truth when, as we spooned, he'd ask me "have you been saved?")

Peace --Alex

and always remember, pass it on, pass it on, pass it on!

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