Single What? Female...

Madhatters and mystery aunts...

Yesterday was a trip. That's really the best way to describe it.

After arriving in LA the other morning, I was greeted by the parking angels who allowed me a space right across the street from my host Dave's (brother and in-law of our friends Steve and Lil), building. Steve and Lil came by later for lunch and we hit the last original Bob's Big Boy in the city. The Beatles apparently used to head over there during west coast recording sessions. I can also say that I have seen the Brady Bunch house (sadly...tacky...but for sale!). After more walk around I got to have dinner with one of my first New York friends, Christina where we caught up and should you be in Chicago at the end of May, GO SEE HER in the show "A Kid From Brooklyn: the Danny Kaye story". She plays Eve Arden as well as many other women in Kaye's life and will definitely be worth seeing. She also happened to alert me to the LA habit of looking up at people because you never know if you are going to see somebody famous. We saw no famous faces during dinner, but it was kind of funny to see folks just sort of automatically looking around at anything that moved juuuuust in case.

Then, there was yesterday.

It started out at the Magnolia Blvd Starbucks where apparently all the actors in North Hollywood (aka NoHo) hang out. I was able to talk to people nearly straight away starting with stagehand and writer Lewon (sp?) who regularly gets asked "What are you?" and thinks it is definitely an LA thing as, like New York, it's just part of the landscape: so many different types of people how can one NOT be curious. Barista Wendy says that she mainly gets asked the question when she speaks Spanish as folks don't see her as Latina despite her Mexican heritage. Alexandra gets asked "What are you?" all the time, and gets people guessing as well: "everything but the real thing." She and Wendy also believe that it is something unique and cool about America. "There's no distinctive face of America," Wendy said. We just are.

Also at this Starbucks is writer and king of Magnolia Blvd.: K. Elliot. This man is just a character. According to the locals, he knows "everybody" and keeps track of the up and comers in the area. He thinks race in America is "a stupid ass thing..." as people have been getting together for too long for anyone to be pure anything. His lawyer friend Charles, who is in discrimination law, believes he will be out of business by 2030...save for sexual discrimination..."that will always be around...".

After two green tea lattes and hours of talking, mostly with Elliot I must admit, I headed out to La Verne to try to meet the woman I call my "mystery aunt". I call her this as, when I was growing up, we'd get Christmas cards from her every year with a small check and we'd have to write thank you notes, every year, and no matter how many times my sister and I asked for a photo or a letter, we never got one. My father had no photos of her that I know of and did not talk much about his family (he was older and really had no one left by the time my sister and I came around). Since my father passed away, I've been trying to meet her and we have kept missing each other, so rather than call ahead, I wrote a letter before I left for the trip and then decided to just drop in on her and see if she was there. I got to her house...and I rang the bell...and...nothing. I rang it again...and a third time...nothing. I was preparing to write a note for her to leave at the door and then turn around and head back to LA, when I heard a shuffling from the back of the house. An older gentleman helping an older woman with some groceries...the gentleman saw me and motioned for the lady to turn and see that she had a visitor. The tiny, hunched lady turned as best she could with her cane, and when I saw her face, there was no doubt that this was my aunt. "Oh look at you! I know who you are." She said gleefully. "You are the spitting image of your daddy. Come on in!"

Next thing I know, I am in her living room and we are talking and hours go by. I am hearing her life story about how she was with the Coast Guard Auxiliary for over 30 years (it all started with a bad fishing trip). I also learn about how her 52 years with Lockheed started by working for Douglas as a "Rosie the Riveter" during WWII (when those jobs dried up after the war, she did factory sewing, but as soon as she could get back to building airplanes, she was on it). She invites me to stay overnight as she has the guest room and even a pair of new flanel pajamas. She makes me a TV dinner and despite the worry of my contacts drying and sticking to my retinas, I stay and we end up talking til midnight. I thought I got the gift of gab just from my father...it is obviously a family trait.
In the midst of the conversation, we did get to family photos. I have never seen pictures of my father as a child, nor of my grandparents on his side. It was amazing to see these people for the first time. There are only two pictures of my grandfather, and one group photo that I believe has some cousins from the de Suze side, but once again I was left thinking, these de Suze's are hard to find :p
Nell, my aunt, gets up at 5am every morning as that was her shift when she worked, hence I found myself up at the same time...but able to fall back asleep til 7am. I had a last chat with her over coffee cake and tea and then helped her get ready for her excursion to San Bernardino (she gets her nails done there). The gentleman I saw her with yesterday, a quiet man named Clyde, dropped over by a little after 8 to drive her. He lives next door and drives her around and keeps an eye on her. (thank you Clyde). While she went off to her nail appointment, I went to the local Office Depot and started making copies of photos...photos of these people who were, sorry to be cliche, but it's best now, missing pieces of my puzzle. They are of different shades but the same..spunk. As I looked at these photos and listened to Nell, I realized something. I come from spunk. I've got determined and strong women and determined and charismatic men on both sides of my family. As Nell talked about how her mother was determined to make her a nurse, yet she wanted to work on airplanes, I thought of my mother who, rather than go to secretarial school, was determined to work in communications. Both sets of grandparents set out to leave their lives in Denmark and Grenada respectively and came to the US, the only children in their families to so do, in order to try something new...try out the American Dream, or rather, continue it.
I may not have seen the Hollywood sign or the Chinese Theatre; or danced at the Brown Derby or bought flip flops at Venice Beach, but I met my mystery aunt and she is mystery no more...just my aunt...a piece of my puzzle that I finally found and could fit into place.

posted by funkweee @ 11:54 AM